Andy Morgan’s Screening Room

I am your Father

I’ve probably seen “The Empire Strikes Back” hundreds of times, but this line from Darth Vader still hits home with each viewing. It’s not just the revelation he shares with Luke Skywalker, but the entire lightsaber battle that makes this film’s finale a white knuckle affair. I remember leaving the theater in 1980 on a Saturday afternoon wondering what would become of the handless, lightsaber-less Luke and the frozen-in-carbonite Han Solo. Absolutely the best of all six “Star Wars” movies.

You’ve got me!? Who’s got you?!

Kudos to Bryan Singer for trying to revitalize Hollywood’s “Superman” franchise, but nothing comes close to the 1978 Richard Donner directed Superman movie. In fact, I still get goosebumps when John Williams’ triumphant march begins and Superman shoots up into the sky to catch Lois Lane, exclaiming to her, “Easy, Miss. I’ve got you.” It makes me want to safety pin a red towel around my neck and run around the neighborhood in tights and red underpants. Did I say that out loud?

Welcome to Jurassic Park

I read Michael Crichton’s novel of the same name in 1992 and thought, “This would be a great movie if Steven Spielberg directed it.” Lo and behold, by some ethereal telekinesis, Spielberg read my mind and out popped “Jurassic Park” for summer movie madness in 1993. The entire movie is full of fabulous moments, but seeing the CGI dinosaurs for the first time was not only breathtaking, but witnessing a new turn in movie history.

King Kong vs. the T-Rex Trio

Critics loved Peter Jackson’s remake of the classic 1933 film, but audiences, possibly intimated by a long runtime, stayed away. Sadly, if you haven’t seen this movie, then you are missing one of the most intense, richly choreographed, photorealistic monster battles of all-time. Kong laying the smack down to three angry tyrannosaurs never gets old and I’m always amazed at the amount of thought and detail poured into that crisp, deft bit of filmmaking.

Franks and Beans

Some people ask, “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” I like to ask, “Where were you when Ben Stiller got his nether regions zipped in ‘There’s Something About Mary’?” This 1998 comedy paved the way for today’s shocking, over-the-top, what-will-they-think-of-next brand of comedy.

Bigger Boat

We’ve seen his fin poking out of the water and we’ve seen the carnage inflicted from his prowling of the Amity shoreline, but it isn’t until nearly the end of the film when we actually see the menacing, razor edged grin and black eyes of the shark in “Jaws.” Roy Scheider’s terror is palpable as he backs into the cabin and tells Quint, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

April 15, 1912

Maybe it’s not manly to say I really enjoy James Cameron’s “Titanic,” or that I like to take bubble baths while listening to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On,” but despite some intense cheesiness, I think the movie definitely deserved its best picture Academy Award. Strangely, we all know how the movie ends, yet I still sit on the edge of my seat as the ship sinks into the icy Atlantic Ocean.

Movies about Gladiators

Before “There’s Something About Mary,” comedy’s biggest shock came in “Airplane” and from a normally stoic, serious Peter Graves asking a young male visitor to the flight deck if he’d “ever been in a cockpit before,” “been inside a Turkish prison,” “liked movies about gladiators,” or, the biggest shocker, if he’d “ever seen a grown man naked.” Couple that with Lloyd Bridges sniffing glue and the classic, “I am serious and don’t call me Shirley” and you’ve got a classic comedy that still stands the test of time.

D-Day

The opening sequence of Steven Spielberg’s “Saving Private Ryan” is the most intense, quiet and surreal time I’ve ever witnessed at a theater. As soon as the opening salvo of German gunfire hailed down upon the U.S. infantry storming the beaches at Normandy, every voice silenced and stayed silent for the duration of the movie. People even set their Goobers and popcorn down out of respect for the sanctity and tragedy of what they were watching. One of the most powerful films ever made bar none.

Ride of the Rohirrim

There are many memorable scenes in Peter Jackson’s “Lord of the Rings” trilogy, but none more moving than King Théoden and his army coming to Gondor and, facing certain death, riding into to save the race of men from Sauron’s hordes of orcs, trolls and other nasty creatures. It is a combination of CGI, music and story that makes the “Ride of the Rohirrim” extremely stirring and triumphant.

When I was in high school, I didn’t take my dates to scary movies for the exact same reason I didn’t take them to amusement parks – I didn’t want them to see me reduced to a quivering pile of sweaty, crying, screaming, eye-covering hysteria. Trust me, I’m 32 and I felt I was betraying some film critic’s rule of conduct by closing my eyes during the screening of “Disturbia.”

“Disturbia” stars the up and coming actor Shia LaBeouf, who is probably best recognized for his role as Stanley Yelnats in the 2003 film “Holes.” That was four years ago and now viewers are privy to a grown-up, serious actor in LaBeouf. In fact, this summer might be his catapult into Hollywood Hunk status, as he’s set to voice a penguin in “Surf’s Up” and star alongside the robots in disguise in “Transformers.”

In this Hitchcock-meets-the-iPod thriller, LaBeouf plays Kale Brecht, a smart, goodhearted teenager living alongside Hollywood’s vision of the Utopian family. This is cemented by the opening scene of Kale and his father (Matt Craven) fly fishing and sharing laughs and Cokes. This tidy little world comes to a grinding halt when they are involved in one of the most horrific on-screen car wrecks I have ever seen.

Flash forward and we find Kale on a different, darker path since his father’s death. His schoolwork is in the toilet, he’s been arrested several times and his latest infraction – punching the Spanish teacher – has him sentenced to house arrest for three months, his entire summer vacation. Kale’s mom (Carrie-Ann Moss) is at a loss, so she cancels his XBOX Live, iTunes and even cuts the cord on his TV. So, as it is with most folks, when you’ve got nothing to do and nowhere to go, grabbing the binoculars and spying on your neighbors is a great diversion.

Kale becomes an anthropologist from his bedroom window, watching the neighbor’s lives unfold, making assumptions and seeing secrets. He watches a man have an affair with the housekeeper and sees adolescent boys watching porno movies and deceiving their mom. However, his favorite target is Ashley (Sarah Roemer), a recent transplant to the suburbs and the neighborhood babe. From his peeping, Kale learns that Ashley is an avid reader, looks great in a bikini and has a troubled home life, as the impression is given that her dad is an alcoholic and a womanizer. But Kale can’t go past his front lawn, so his dream of charming Ashley is wishful thinking.

Luck turns Kale’s way when Ashley discovers him and his friend Ronnie (Aaron Yoo) gawking through binoculars during her afternoon swim. Kale is mortified, but soon the threesome is spending each day and evening in Kale’s room, eating pizza and spying. They begin to believe their next door neighbor, Mr. Turner (David Morse), is a serial killer from Texas and this is the point where the tension is ratcheted up 360 degrees. Some of the scares I saw coming a mile away, but the best part was the director, D.J. Caruso (“Taking Lives”), used very little blood and gore to induce eye-covering.

I won’t reveal the crux of the plot, but it basically follows the same thread of Hitchock’s “Rear Window.” Is Mr. Turner a victim of a crazy teenager’s wild speculation, or is he a cold-blooded killer? You can probably guess which side of the fence he resides (no pun intended), but the journey to the conclusion is where the fun resides. And when I say fun, I really mean soiled pants, chewed fingernails and sweaty pits.

Overall, there isn’t one particular element that drives “Disturbia” into a three-star film, rather a conglomerate of goodness highlighted with the acting. Shia LaBeouf pulls off the angst-ridden teen with ease and David Morse pulls off creepy just by showing up. The end result is a surprisingly deft thriller that is certainly worth the full price ticket.

Watch the trailer for “Disturbia” at Apple.com.

There are bad films and there are bad films viewed in an overly warm theater, wedged between a dude that smells like wet dog meets a three-packs-a-day ashtray and a lady so ripe she must be smuggling gorgonzola cheese under her armpits. “The Reaping,” a new “religious thriller starring Hilary Swank (“Freedom Writers”), is the later. Hands down, it is the worst movie I have seen since “The Black Dahlia.”

Think of every “religious” movie Hollywood has churned out and it’s probably in “The Reaping.” This film is the illegitimate love child of “The Omen,” “The Exorcist,” “The Seventh Sign” and “The Ten Commandments.” Speaking of religion, I received a revelation midway through “The Reaping” that someone in marketing will get fired for wrongfully advertising this movie as a thriller. It’s a comedy.

The movie opens in South America, where Katherine Winter (Hilary Swank) and her assistant, Ben (Idris Elba), are investigating a purported miracle at a local church. Apparently an earthquake rumbled through the region and opened the tomb of a priest beloved by the locals. Instead of bones and dust, the body is perfectly preserved. Townspeople are wigging out with dementia and folks are getting sick after touching the priest. Act of God? Winter discovers a local chemical company’s bad dumping practices is the culprit and adds another scientific explanation to her “Miracles Disproved” list.

Winter is a professor at Louisiana State University and when she returns from class after her trip to South America, she has several messages from a Father Costigan (Stephen Rea). Apparently, years ago, Father Costigan served as a missionary in Africa with Winter and her family. After her husband and daughter were killed by local natives, Winter stopped believing in God and severed her relationship with Father Costigan, as he was a reminder of all she lost. Reluctantly, Winter speaks to Costigan and he tells her God is sending a warning to her through him. She is in danger he says. He gathers this from Katherine’s face burned out of every picture he has of her, of which, when put together like a puzzle, make a satanic symbol.

Coinciding with Father Costigan’s return, a visitor, Doug (David Morrissey), from a little Louisiana town called Haven, comes seeking Winter’s help. It seems the town’s river has turned to blood and the townspeople are afraid nine more plagues are approaching fast. They also believe a 12 year-old girl, Loren McConnell (AnnaSophia Robb) is to blame for the current and upcoming plagues. She was found on the banks of the river near her dead brother, who, according to the Sherriff, didn’t have a mark on his body and no cause of death. Dead set on proving “miracles” wrong once again, Winter sets out with Ben and Doug to solve the bloody river mystery in Haven.

This is where the movie turns from intriguing – in an “Exodus Decoded” (on the History channel) sort of way – to completely silly and humorous. The plagues follow one after the other, so no suspense on that front, and the moments concocted by the director, Stephen Hopkins (“Lost in Space”), can be seen a mile away and hence, not one bit chilling. I’ll leave the plot alone, in case you decide to waste your hard earned money, but I’d highly recommend passing on this and also never renting the DVD. That’s almost two hours you can never put back on the clock. Go for a walk, call a long lost friend, sleep – anything but watch this rancid glob of cinema.