Andy Morgan’s Screening Room

I wanted to like “Superbad” so very much. It’s like the drop dead gorgeous girl your dying to ask on a date and finally when you get the courage up and she accepts, you discover she has chronic flatulence and hacks lugis like a two-pack-a-day smoker. Basically, don’t judge a book by its cover.

It all started when I watched the “redband” (which is web-speak for unrated) trailer a few months ago and laughed so hard I thought adult diapers would be necessary. Looking back, it may have been jubilation from the Utah Jazz playoff run coupled with way too much Red Bull.

Alas, it was not to be. I caught a press screening recently and although folks around me we’re laughing hysterically, my frequent trailer watching of “Superbad” left me with a feeling of “meh.” I didn’t hate it, but it wasn’t spectacular or special. It followed the gross-out teen comedy genre to the letter, except it had slightly more heart than “American Pie,” “Porky’s” and “Revenge of the Nerds.”

So, there you have it. “Superbad” is just plain meh.

Before I delve into the story, let me toss out two warnings that may stop people from reading the rest of the article:

First, and I say this because a reader of my “Knocked Up” review got testy because I didn’t count the number of f-words and send him an Excel spreadsheet of the frequency and intervals, but “Superbad” is chock full. Let me say that again: Chock full of the f-bomb, as well as other colorful language. I’ll write more about this later.

Last – and this is very important, but parents need to make sure their teens under 17 are not road tripping with their pals to see this movie. I’m all for the freedom to choose and I realize movie ratings are not the law-of-the-land, but the movie is rated R for a reason and rated R movies are for folks 17 and older, unless accompanied by an adult. And if you are an adult taking a teen to this movie, you should be in jail.

Still with me? Fabulous. Here’s the story.

Seth (Jonah Hill) and Evan (Michael Cera) have been pals since they were in Elementary school, but now, during their senior year of high school, they find themselves insecure about college and a bit more interested in girls. Actually, their focus is solely on the “hooking up” with girls, which, if you’ve been under a rock for the last decade, involves rounding the proverbial bases. Both guys don’t want to go to college inexperienced when it comes to the ladies.

Sadly, high school today is still the way it was when I graduated in 1992. Jocks, nerds, rockers, cowboys, cheerleaders, stoners, drinkers – you name it – everyone has a clique and there is a pecking order. Seth and Evan, while not at the very bottom, are situated on the totem pole where you don’t get invited to the “cool” parties and you get spit on my insecure, jock bullies. It is 100 percent evident this movie was written and acted from personal experience, albeit with a little exaggeration.

When the objects of Seth and Evan’s lust, Jules (Emma Stone) and Becca (Martha Maclsaac) enlist the duo to deliver the alcohol to Jules’ party, it seems like the heavens have opened. Both have heard the stories of drunken girls “hooking up” with guys they wouldn’t even look at while they are sober. The quest to obtain alcohol takes up most of the movie and involves their pal, Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), aka McLovin’. Quite honestly, without the McLovin’ character, the movie would not be near as funny.

Back to the swearing and language in the movie, as I said before, there is a ton. Some may argue that it’s excessive and unnecessary and those that do probably see movies with the “life imitates art” frame of mind. I’m not sold that “Superbad” and its ins and outs is “art imitating life,” but I do know that I could relate, even at 33 years old, with much of the story and characters. Plus, as always, a Judd Apatow (in this case he’s producer) movie always ends with and is injected with heart.

“Superbad” is a good movie, but not nearly as funny as “Knocked Up.” In my book, I see three star movies again and potentially look to purchase them on DVD. “Superbad” is something I might see again at the discount theater, but definitely not a DVD purchase.

In a summer chock full of “thirds,” Matt Damon (“The Departed”) and director Paul Greengrass (“United 93”, “The Bourne Supremacy”) reteam to give theatergoers the presumably final installment of “The Bourne Trilogy,” based on the novels by Robert Ludlum. Much like “Live Free or Die Hard,” the movie is franticly paced and buoyed CGI-free stunts and action scenes. “The Bourne Ultimatum” is a enjoyable, positive capstone to a largely disappointing summer season.

“Ultimatum” opens right where we left Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) in “The Bourne Supremacy,” in Moscow, Russia, being filmed with Greengrass’ signature style of herky-jerky handheld camera movements. If you’re the type that pukes on amusement park rides, then bring a barf bag to the theater and definitely, for the sake of other patrons, don’t consume a truckload of popcorn and peanut M&Ms.

Bourne, still hunted by the CIA, is drawn out of deep hiding after reading articles regarding him and the covert operation Treadstone in the British newspaper “The Guardian.” It seems what really stokes his ire are misrepresented facts about the death of his girlfriend, Marie (Franka Potente), so after a perfunctory visit to explain the circumstances of her death to her brother in Paris, he sets off to find the writer of the aforementioned newspaper articles, Simon Ross (Paddy Considine).

Bourne and Ross meet in a busy London train terminal and Ross drops several clues to Bourne that will eventually lead him to his true identity, the first and foremost being the name “Blackbriar.” This is unfamiliar to Bourne, but not to Noah Vosen (David Strathairn) who is the leader behind this new, covert CIA outfit, intent on replacing the flawed and failed Treadstone project. Unbeknownst to Bourne and Ross, Vosen’s unit has been listening and watching ever since the mention of “Blackbriar” was picked up in the endless “chatter” listened to by the US government. They track Ross to discover his source, confident they have a traitorous leak in their ranks, and are speechless after they watch from surveillance cameras Bourne dispatch all their agents.

Bourne flees London to Madrid, Spain and keeps having flashbacks of the day he signed up for Treadstone. He sees blurry faces and hears spotty, muted dialogue, but he still doesn’t understand how or why he is the first-class assassin he is now. In Madrid, he seeks out Ross’ CIA informant and crosses paths with Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles). With some past connection we don’t quite understand between Parsons and Bourne, she is intent on helping him discover his past, so she lies to Vosen and Pamela Landy (Joan Allen) about Bourne’s whereabouts and the two cross the Mediterranean Sea to Tangiers to catch Ross’ source before he is snuffed by Vosen’s black ops assassins or “assets.”

In the end, after visiting Russia, Italy, France, England, Spain and Africa, Bourne comes to New York City, where his current reign as uncatchable assassin began. I’ll leave the details of the conclusion out of this article, but I will say it has, like the other two films, a fantastic car chase through the streets of the Big Apple. And the ending is tied up nice and neat, with closure for everyone.

Kudos to Greengrass and the screenwriters for injecting some “real time” homeland security concerns into the fabric of the story. After seeing “The Bourne Ultimatum”, my advice would be to not say “jihad” or “Hilary Rodham Clinton” on your cell phone or emails, or you might have some CIA agents toss a black bag over your head and beat you silly.

Bottom line: “The Bourne Ultimatum” is fast and fun. The fight scenes and car chases are intense and the cast of supporting actors – Allen, Strathairn and Albert Finney – give some texture to a film that could be fluff. Instead, it is a smartly acted, intricately choreographed action movie that is definitely in league with “Transformers,” “Live Free or Die Hard” and “Knocked Up” as the best summer movie.