Andy Morgan’s Screening Room

I had plenty of caffeine before the screening of the absurdly long “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” the third, and presumably finale, film in the “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy. But despite a Diet Coke and a Diet Rockstar, I was yawning for the first 45 minutes. That’s because Pirates the Third is a minefield of boring, been-there-done-that cinema. I was hoping this would be the film to break the shackles of this summer’s sequel doldrums, but I was sadly mistaken.

Last summer, when we left Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) in “Dead Man’s Chest,” Will was pouting because Miss Swan kissed Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), and Elizabeth was frumpy because she sacrificed Captain Jack to the belching “beasty” Kraken. In the final scene, Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), after revealing a back-from-the-dead Captain “I Need Proactiv Skin Solution” Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), tells the group of mourners that Sparrow can be rescued from the “ends of the Earth.”

“At World’s End” picks up with Barbossa, Dalma, Turner and Swan leading the rest of Jack’s band of third-rate pirates into Singapore to steal maps and secure a ship from one of nine pirate lords, Captain Sao Feng (Chow Yun-Fat), a scar-faced, cranky, Fu Manchu-wearing bad boy. Barbossa tells Sao Feng the group’s plans to find Captain Jack, but also of a gathering of pirate lords at Shipwreck Cove. It seems the East India Trading Company’s head honcho, the evil Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), with Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the Flying Dutchman under his command and control, has declared war on the pirates. The meeting at the hidden cove is to align forces and plan a way to defeat Lord Beckett.

As with the past two films, the plot spins in several different directions, especially after the group travels to the ends of the Earth to rescue Captain Jack from Davy Jones’ Locker. Truthfully, I think a lot of time is wasted in the getting to and arriving at Davy Jones’ Locker. Still, the group picks up Jack, and with his injection into the film, the story picks up speed and the laughs become more frequent. We discover each character’s agendas and they all come crashing together in the film’s frantic finale. I’d say more, but truthfully, to say more would be to divulge too many spoilers.

Despite the ho-hum feeling, “At World’s End” has some bright spots. Depp’s portrayal of Captain Jack gives the film its foundation, although at times it seems like overkill. The movie’s special effects are nothing short of stellar and the folks at Industrial Light and Magic have once again created lifelike CGI characters and environments. That Johnny Depp was nominated for a Golden Globe last year for “Dead Man’s Chest”, but Bill Nighy was not is a true injustice. Davy Jones might be CGI, but Nighy gives him spunk. Sadly, there is not enough Davy Jones in “At World’s End.”

In the end, the movie simply is flat. There is nothing new, nothing hugely spectacular or overwhelming to cause me to dip into my wallet again and again. Ironically, the action and humor that pepper the first two films seem missing. “At World’s End” tries to be too dramatic and serious. I thought it was boring, but I’d bet the nearly three-hour runtime will put your kids to sleep. In fact, like the other two films, you probably should keep kids younger than eight or nine at home. Watching Davy Jones stick his tentacles down a man’s throat and up his nose is not something young kids need to see, let alone the stabbing and other violence throughout the movie.

Should you pay full price to catch the third “Pirates of the Caribbean” film? Absolutely not. Wait for the discount ticket. “At World’s End” is like the entertaining houseguest whose visit, while fun for a few days, has now grown old. They simply can’t say goodbye and keep repeating the same tired jokes, music and action to rekindle the joy of times past. Sadly, by the time the door shuts and the hint of another visit (i.e. Pirates of the Caribbean 4) is placed on the table, you’re changing the locks and contemplating a move.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007 at 12:13 am and is filed under Reviews. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.