We are being treated so unfairly. A steady stream of vehicles with Idaho plates comes and goes from our state daily. New houses are built right up to Utah border. People from un-Utah are attending our schools, being treated in our hospitals, enjoying our concerts, skiing on our slopes and then retreating to Idaho with a carload of groceries where they sleep and pay taxes. So unfair.
In less than a fortnight, the Utah Legislature will be in session. It’s time for them to end the very unfair treatment our state is receiving from northerners now huddled along the Idaho border. The Legislature should provide funds from Utah taxes to start work on a wall to keep Idaho people from coming to Utah, taking our jobs and disrupting our way of life. We need that wall and our leaders must make Idaho pay for it.
Idaho has long cheated Utah. Read the historic signs scattered around Franklin, Preston and Malad. These towns were established by people with the same family names as those who took Cache Valley from the Indians and put northern Utah on the national map. We have a juniper tree and other stuff named after the Jardine brothers. There are scores of national heroes from Utah who were born and raised north of our border.
Utahns spend tons of money up north. Some of the most successful businesses selling Idaho lottery tickets to Utahns are just across the border in Malad and Franklin. Utahns going north clog the roads when jackpots grow into the billions. It’s so unfair that we feed Idaho’s treasury and get so little in return. And especially since most Utahns who buy Idaho lottery tickets bring back boxes of fine liquor that can’t be bought in Utah. So unfair. We depend on state liquor stores to take money from sinners to support churchy folks.
Some people blame Utahns for killing the largest number of Native Americans in our nation at the Battle of Bear River. So unfair. Everybody knows it was United States soldiers who killed the Indians. Utahns just took land Indians left when they went hunting.
Idaho is robbing us. We need a wall! — a wall across our state to run from Nevada in the west to Wyoming on the east. It must be made of concrete and steel, manufactured in Utah (or imported by a Utah man). It must be high enough to prevent a man mounted on an elephant from seeing over it. Elephants only. Other animals, especially donkeys, must not be substituted.
There will be two major gateways, Franklin and Malad City, and minor gateways at Snowville and Fish Haven. Landowners and companies with land dissected by the wall will be required to get a special permit from the Legislature. So unfair to legislators to make public how permits are issued.
The mountains east of Franklin and the surface of Bear Lake require special kinds of walls. And rule changes. The mountains between Franklin and Fish Haven are federal land owned by the people of the United States and administered by the USDA Forest Service. Much of it is wilderness and managed as roadless. So unfair to local people who want to get rich.
The Forest Service must be forced to give us those federal mountains between to Utah entrepreneurs. Roads, ski lifts and resorts on the south side of the mountains can replace the wall. With Utah in pursuit of the winter Olympics, it should be possible to get some Chinese billionaires interested in turning those useless mountains into dream projects.
Two kinds of walls will be needed across Bear Lake. The Idaho part of the lake has a large, sandy beach, a dock for sailboats and alcoholic beverages available onshore. Utahns need a floating wall high enough to hide nudity, drinking alcohol and all the sins that go with invading people from the north. It is so unfair for our citizens visiting our lake to be forced to see Idaho’s sinful doings.
The Bear Lake sub-surface wall may have many challenges to meet the fishery rules, the water laws, water storage capacity and aquatic habitats for hundreds of plants and animals, some of which are endangered species.
If you have read this far, you probably think I am drunk or crazy. At present, I am neither. I’m old, grouchy and fed up with outlandish proposals similar to those above by people who want to take public land and make rich people richer. I have never seen a situation where a human-built wall does little more than temporarily isolate a plant, animal or human community When a wall is breached, and it always is, the protected community does not function well in the new environment around it and dies.
I’m supposed to write local stuff. That’s hard for an old range man whose career was dealing with ecology of changing biological communities. How, or if, human immigration across the Mexican/U.S border is changed, that change will affect people in Utah and Idaho.
Let’s hope we act wisely whatever happens. Reinhold Niebuhr is credited with the Serenity Prayer: “Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
Change happens; wisdom is in short supply; April Fool came in January this year. So unfair. Please forgive me Idaho.